


I fell in Love with an Assassin

by Crayonlighting



Series: My Assassin Love Life [1]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Betrayal, Explicit Language, F/M, Implied Sexual Content, Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-13
Updated: 2017-06-13
Packaged: 2018-11-04 23:44:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11001477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crayonlighting/pseuds/Crayonlighting
Summary: Spencer Reid, had only ever been in love two times in his life. The second time he fell in love, she was an assassin, who wanted nothing more than to kill him.





	I fell in Love with an Assassin

**Author's Note:**

> This is loosely based off of the season 11 episode Entropy. In this version of the story, they don't know Cat's identity before they go into the restaurant. They don't have photos of her, and only know her as The Black Widow Killer.

I fell in love with an Assassin

Spencer isn’t exactly sure how he ended up back in his bed with her, but he knows that the way she made him feel was amazing. He doesn’t have a lot of sexual experience under his belt. Sexual trauma from when he was a kid. Finally losing his virginity at twenty-five, he blames that on the drugs. Experimenting with sex in the following years, and falling in love. Grieving the one he loved, the one who never got a chance at life and happiness. Spencer never wanted to love again, he never thought he could after what happened. So, when he fell in love with Catherine Adams, he knew he was fucked.

Cat was the last person he expected to see when he walked into that restaurant that night. That night he placed a single red rose on the table, and turned his fake wedding ring on his finger. Spencer swears his jaw drops to the floor when he sees Cat sit down across the table from him. She doesn’t speak, but he can hear her voice in his head, “Hi Spencey.” It’s seductive, and Spencer can’t even think. He wants to kiss her, he wants to choke her. He wants to put hand cuffs on her, he wants to slip his hand under her very short dress. He wants to force her face down against the table, kick her feet apart, and take her against the table in a crowded restaurant. Mostly he wants to slip the ring sat on his slender finger onto hers and make her his forever.

Spencer has never felt more conflicted in his entire life. He’s never felt more betrayed and more devastated. How could he let himself get involved with someone like her? How could she deceive him like this? For so long. How could he not see who she was before? How could he fall asleep next to this woman for so long, how could he have sex with this woman and have no idea who she really was.

Not being the smartest person in the room is not a feeling Spencer has often, but here he is sitting across from Cat Adams, a woman he’s been sleeping with for months, for almost a year now, and in this moment, he feels like the dumbest person in the room. Spencer gets up from his seat, his chest falls into a pit in his stomach, his knees are weak, he has no idea who he is.

“Is everything okay?” she asks in a voice Spencer grew to love.

Spencer can’t get his mouth to open, he can’t get his brain to form words, he starts to hyperventilate before he bolts for the door.

The cool night air washing over him, and Spencer pulls at his hair, how could he have no idea the woman he was sleeping with, the woman he’d fallen for was Miss.45. Catherine Adams was The Black Widow Killer.

Spencer. Spencer Reid. Spencer. Reid. Spencer blinks, and focuses. Spencer.

“Are you okay Spencer?”

Spencer feels dizzy, he feels like his head could explode, he wants to cry, he can’t breathe.

“Spence” Spencer registers the hand on his shoulder, and the silver stilettos. The beautiful red and blue ensemble, the gorgeous blonde hair. JJ.

Spencer shakes his head, “I can’t do this” he says, “I’m sorry, I blew my cover, I can’t do this, you’re going to have to find another way to catch her, I can’t be part of this anymore.”

“What happened in there?” JJ asks looking at her younger friend.

“What happened?” Spencer isn’t even sure what happened, “What happened is when I looked up, I was staring back at my girlfriend” he says plainly, “I’ve been sleeping with Cat for months now” he says.

Spencer can hear the blood pumping in his ears, he reaches up, pulling his tie loose, the feeling of the fabric choking him.

“Shut this down JJ” Spencer says, having every intention of walking around the block, until he started to feel like he could breathe again.

How could he think this was the right way to capture The Black Widow killer? She’s always been five steps ahead of them. She’s always in control. She never loved him, she never meant any of those things she said to him, while sharing the same pillow on a cold winters night.

Spencer’s stomach lurches in his abdomen, and he runs to the bushes as he vomits. Spencer coughs, as he empties the contents of his stomach, just when he thinks the tears are going to burst through his eyes, he sees a blurry pair of feet, through the other side of the bush. Spencer looks up, god she had gorgeous legs, and he can remember how soft her skin felt against his. He could see her thighs spread sitting on the edge of his bed. The thin dark fabric that clung to her body and showed off all her assets.

Cat doesn’t smile, she can’t say that she’s pleased with herself, watching Spencer wreck his brain over her. She looks down at the man hunched over looking back at her, she places her finger over her lips, “shhh” she coos.

Spencer wants to call out after her, but he can’t bring himself to do it, he wants to run after her, he wants to ask her why, he wants to know, he needs to know. But he can’t bring his body to do anything but stand there in shock. And in the blink of an eye she was gone without a trace.

“Reid.”

Spencer lets out a heavy breath, taking everything in him to pull some composure.

“Reid, are you okay?” Derek asks approaching him slowly.

“No, I’m not okay, nothing about this is okay” he says, “she was my girlfriend Morgan.”

“She had all of us fooled Spencer” he says.

“I slept with her! How could I not see it” he says becoming frustrated.

“Calm down” Derek says gently placing his hand on Spencer’s shoulder, “We’ll get her Reid.”

“No, you won’t” he says, “she’s too good at this, she’s gone, forever this time.”

“Reid- “

“She’s been in my bed Morgan, she’s been in my head, and I never knew!” he says, “Don’t you get it, you won’t find her, I couldn’t even find her and I was in love with her, looking at her every day for months!” he cries, “She fucking played me, I was just a pawn in her game of chess. And I don’t know what her endgame is Derek” he says.

“We’ll figure it out- “

“No, she can’t be figured out” he says, “She’s the smartest person in the room, we’re all pawns in a game of chess to her, all disposable. I feel sick.”

“Come on Spence, I’ll walk you home” Tara says making her presence known. Tara places her hand against Derek’s shoulder blade, letting him know that she would take care of Spencer.

“I’m fine” he says, starting to become angry with the fact that he had blown his cover and let her get away. Part of him is angry that she never said goodbye. Part of him is angry that he’ll never see her again. Part of him is angry that he didn’t run off with her.

How does she not need him? Could she really have been at a ruse this entire time with no feelings whatsoever for him?

Spencer has decided in that moment, he’s going to quit his job find Cat, and run away with her, anywhere in the world where they won’t be found, and they can be together forever.

Spencer Reid is no fugitive, but he did need answers. A heavy sigh falls off his chest, “I need to find her,” he says looking back at his team.

“We’ll find her for you” JJ says.

Spencer doesn’t think they ever will, but he was willing to try, he knew with them at his side, maybe, just maybe they could do the impossible and find Catherine Adams.

 

*

 

When Spencer walks into his apartment, he stops dead in his tracks. The dinner table is set for two, candles are lit, and he can smell her perfume just as if it wasn’t three years ago that she left.

Spencer shuts the door behind him, turning the lock. It was that moment that he knew he was fucked.

“Honey, I’m home” he says, dropping his bag off his shoulder onto the floor.

Cat steps out from the kitchen, with a martini glass in her hand, “I made you a martini” she smiles. She had on a very elegant, very sexy little black dress, with silver stripes running horizontally across her chest. The dress was sleeveless, and she was in a pair of black heels with silver sparkles. He could only imagine what was underneath her dress. Just from looking at her he could tell that she wasn’t wearing a bra, and that only made him want her that much more.

Spencer wracks his brain for anything to say to her, absolutely anything, but he can’t find anything. He reaches out, taking the drink from her, he knew she wanted to play a game. She always wanted to play games with him.

Spencer reaches into his pocket pulling out his cellphone setting it on the table, before he takes a sip of his drink setting it on the table next to his phone.

Cat walks up behind Spencer, removing his jacket. Spencer hears her heels click across the floor as she hangs his jacket on the rack, “How was work Spencey?” she asks.

Spencer wonders how much she knew about what he was doing for the last three years. He wonders if she knows what he’s been doing for the last year, he can’t help but wonder how long she’s been watching him for this time, or if she ever stopped watching him.

“Stop talking Cat” he says turning to look at her.

Cat walks over to Spencer, wrapping her arms around his neck, “Stop what baby?”

“Everything” he says, “What the hell are you doing here?” he asks.

Cat looks back at Spencer, looking into his eyes for a moment before, “I missed you.”

“You didn’t miss me the night you left” he says quickly.

Cat sighs, “This is how things had to be” she says.

Spencer pushes her back, he couldn’t handle her touching him like this right now, “You fucking played me Cat” he says loudly, “This was all a fucking game to you!”

Cat smiles, letting her hand drop to her hip, “play a game with me” she says.

“I’m done with your fucking games Cat!” he says, “You’ve been playing games with me for years now, and I’m done, now get the fuck out before I arrest you.”

Cat looks back at Spencer staying quiet, and Spencer can’t believe he just said that, she’s a fugitive, he should have already slapped cuffs on her, and called this in, why is he letting her go?

“I know you want answers Spencer” she says reaching up, loosening his tie around his neck.

Spencer grabs hold of her hand, causing her to stop. Cat looks up at him, she wants to speak, but he hasn’t given her a chance to say anything else, because the next thing she knows Spencer has actually put his handcuffs on her. He put his fucking handcuffs on her wrist.

“Spencer, what the fuck” she says, more than shocked.

“What did I say Cat?” he says, before sitting her in a chair at the table, cuffing her to the dining table.

“Spencer” she says, tugging on the handcuffs, the metal scraping her wrist slightly, “Spencer, take these off.”

“No Cat, you’re right, I want answers, and you’re going to give them to me right now” he says, sitting on the edge of the table, looking down at her in the chair.

Cat looks up at Spencer before reluctantly agreeing, “Okay, what do you want to know.”

“Start at the beginning” he says, “and I have another pair of cuffs if you think you’re going to try anything funny Cat.”

Cat smiles, she knew he had other pairs around here somewhere, she holds out her other wrist, teasing him with the opportunity.

“Start talking” he says.

“How about for every answer I give that’s not a lie, you have to take off a piece of clothing for me” she grins.

“I’m not playing your games anymore Cat” he says.

“Then I guess we’ll be here all night” she smiles.

“I’ll take you to prison if you don’t start talking” he says.

“We’ve already gone over this Spencey, you want answers, and I won’t give them to you in prison” she says, “so you have to give me what I want. I’m going to prison at the end of the night regardless of if you get the answers you want or not.”

Spencer swallows hard, he knows she’s right, and he does want answers, “Fine” he says.

Cat smiles, “So what do you want to know?” she asks.

“How long have you known who I was” he asks.

Cat looks up at him, “I’ve known who you were since 2013” she answers, watching Spencer’s face for the heartbreak that she knew she was going to cause him.

Spencer looks at her, and shakes his head, “There’s no way” he says.

“Spencer, you really think I could be a target of the FBI, and not know who’s targeting me?” she asks, “When we formed the network, I knew exactly who you were, I knew who you were for years Spencer, what I didn’t know was that I would run into on the street like we did, I wasn’t- “

“Shut up” he says, “that’s not fair Cat.”

Cat sighs, “Do you want the truth or not Spencer?” she asks.

“I want answers, I don’t want you trying to get back into my head again” he says.

Cat smiles, “Sweetheart, I’ve been in your head longer than you even know.”

“Shut up” he says.

Cat looks back at Spencer through her dark eyelashes, “Clothes” she says, “Take something off, I earned it.”

Spencer looks back at Cat, he wanted her to keep giving him information, so he pulls off his loosened tie, letting the fabric lay on the table.

“More” she says.

“No way” he says, “You haven’t earned anything more.”

Cat sighs rolling her eyes, “Are you going to ask me why I did it?”

“You’re a sociopath” he says plainly, “You’re a fucked up sociopath with daddy issues, that why you did it” he answers.

Cat sighs, she didn’t enjoy the way he was speaking to her.

“Tell me about the day you met me” he sighs.

Cat smiles, “by the bananas?”

“Yes” he says, “Tell me.”

“I knew who you were, but I was taking a break on getting dirt on you and your team” she says, “I didn’t know you were going to be there, I didn’t even know I was going to be in Virginia” she says.

“Bullshit” Spencer says, “You’re lying” he says, “You lose a turn” he says.

“Spencey don’t” she says.

“You lied Cat” he says.

“Okay” she says, “I lied, but not about everything” she says, “I really wasn’t collecting dirt, I did know your routine, and I knew that you would be in the area, I just wanted to look” she says, “I never intended to even talk to you, I just wanted to see. I screwed up, and it could have blown my cover, it could have fucked up a lot, but- well we both know what happened that night” she says.

Spencer crosses his arms over his chest, he almost doesn’t want to talk to her anymore.

“Spencer” she says looking up at him, “if I had just done one thing differently, if I had just not walked past those bananas at that moment, thing would have been different” she says, “You were so awkward when we started dating, you were so cute” she smiles, “I mean you’re still cute, you were cute in a different way though.”

Spencer almost doesn’t want to hear about this, but more than anything he doesn’t want to hear any lies about the time they spent together.

“Cat, I swear so help me god, if you lie to me about any of the time we spent together, I will shoot you” he says.

“Spencey play nice, I’m behaving aren’t I” she says.

Spencer looks down at her, “Talk Cat” he says.

Cat swallows looking back at Spencer, “I started to like spending so much time with you, it was easier to spend time with you, because you didn’t know who I was yet” she sighs, “We both got what we needed out of it, someone to make us feel less lonely.”

Spencer looks back at her, he could sense she was having trouble exposing herself like this. Taking her clothes off and getting naked was a lot easier than exposing her heart, and true intentions.

“Give me something Spencer” she says.

Spencer looks at Cat for a moment, before opening the button on the top of his shirt, working the buttons down on his shirt, but not taking it off.

“Spencey” she says, “that’s only half of the shirt.”

“I only got half of an answer” he responds.

Cat purses her lips she was becoming agitated with this, she didn’t like being handcuffed to a table, and she didn’t like Spencer treating her like this, epically after they had spent so many great times together, at this very table. “I remember coming back here, we were dating for two months” she says, “we did it right here on this table” she smiles, “my legs wrapped around your tiny waist, and you fucking me like there was no tomorrow.”

Spencer doesn’t respond to that, he remembers it vividly. Cat’s head tilted back, her hips pressing down as he thrusts his hips, Cat’s fingers in his hair, and his hands pressing into her sides as he loses control for a moment.

When Spencer snaps out of his thoughts and looks back at Cat, she’s used her free hand to pull up the skirt of her dress, not all the way but enough for Spencer to see her lacey black undergarments.

“Go on Cat” he says, “the real story.”

Cat smiles, “baby that’s as real as it gets, and you know it” she says, “sleeping with you wasn’t part of the plan, that was because I wanted to, and obviously, you wanted to also. I liked being with you, I’d never had a man treat me the way you did Spencer. I started to get used to the idea of coming home every day and having dinner with you and listening to what your day was like.”

Spencer purses his lips together in a hard line, “you lose a turn” he states.

“That’s not fair” she says slamming her hand on the table, “I didn’t lie.”

“I didn’t like what I heard” he says plainly, “You lose a turn for using me for your intel on what we had on you guys” he says, starting to button his shirt again.

“Stop!” she cries, “Stop Spencer, it wasn’t like that” she insists, “please stop.”

Why should I?” he asks stopping at the third button, “Tell me why Cat” he says.

“Because I missed seeing you” she says, “all of you, you think I just came up with this as a tease?” she asks, “If I wanted to tease, I’d do something else” she says standing up, leaning over, rubbing her hand over the inside of Spencer’s thigh.

“Sit down Cat” he says, watching her hand trace the outline of his cock against his trousers.

“Come on Spencey” she says, capturing his lips between hers, kissing him softly.

Spencer doesn’t kiss her back, he remembers the way they used to kiss as if it was yesterday. The way her fingers caressed his cheek, the way her teeth bite down gently against his lip, the way his heart always seemed to skip a beat making him think she was the one.

Cat kisses Spencer thinking back to the time they got snowed in over winter. Cat and Spencer had the heat cranked all the way up, and they would not get out of bed. Cat remembers the way Spencer smiled at her and gently pushed her hair out of her eyes then leaned down and kissed her lips. Cat comes back to reality, and Spencer is kissing her, really kissing her. Spencer’s fingers are in her hair and she can feel his tongue sliding past her lips. Spencer’s hands slip underneath her dress, pulling down her lace thong.

Cat gasps, as Spencer’s fingers slip between her thighs, “Oh Spencer” she moans softly.

It takes Spencer a moment to realize exactly what it is that he’s doing, and he jumps back, “Damnit Cat” he swears, “I can’t do this with you” he says, “not again. It’s too much.”

Cat groans in frustration, “Don’t you remember what it was like having sex together?” she asks.

“Yes, which is why I can’t do this” he says before rubbing his hands over his eyes, raking his fingers through his hair, “sit down Cat” he insists.

“Let’s just do it one last time Spencer” she says, “I’m going to be in prison for a long time.”

“I’m not here to be your sex toy, I’m here to get answers from you” he says.

“Don’t you want one last time together” she says.

“The last time was the last time” he says, “three years ago was the last time.”

Cat sighs, “I fed into you, you’re right, I took everything that you were saying, under false pretenses. I didn’t do it on purpose though” she insists, “I never once asked about the case, did I? No, I just let you go on and I took notes.”

“Bitch” he says.

“That’s not very nice Spencey” she says looking up at him.

“I’m done with this” he says reaching for his phone on the table.

“Spencer wait” she says reaching for his hand.

“No, I’m done Cat” he says, “It’s time for you to go.”

“Let me finish” she says, “Please.”

“Hurry up, I’m getting tired of this game Cat” he says.

“I’m a sociopath” she says using his words against her, “but I wanted what other people had.”

“So, I was just an experiment” he says.

Cat sighs, “Stop interrupting, I’m getting to that.”

“There were others before you, they were experiments, when I decided to walk by those bananas, I had a chance, but only one to see if I could make something work with you, and I did” she says.

Spencer watches her, and he knows she’s not lying, but he also knows that this isn’t the end of the story.

Cat looks up at Spencer, “shirt, all the way” she says.

Spencer obliges undoing the buttons on his shirt for a second time, letting it slip off his shoulders as she continues the story.

“I didn’t know how far things would go, I didn’t know about Maeve until later, I did intel before but hadn’t come across that yet, and I might have had a different approach had I known before I got into bed with you” she says.

“Enough about Maeve” he says, he didn’t want to hear the woman he loved talk about the only other woman he ever loved.

Cat rolls her eyes, “How can you say enough about Maeve, she’s the whole reason I was able to get so close to you, if none of that never happened with her, there’s no way I would have ended up back here in bed with you Spencer, we would have never dated we would have never met, you would have taken that lame ass ‘excuse me’ in the store and went about your business for the rest of your life, until your team found their way to me, and we met in that restaurant like total strangers.”

Cat waves her hand at Spencer, “I earned that one, I told you the truth about yourself.”

Spencer looks back at Cat for a moment before pulling off his belt, laying it on the table behind him.

“Come on Spencer” she says.

Spencer waits a moment before he pulls off his undershirt, dropping it in her lap, “You knew who I was, and who I worked for, why did you want to get in a relationship with me?”

Cat smiles, the soft cotton of Spencer’s shirt against her bare thighs, “It’s not what you’re thinking” she says, letting her hand rest over the soft shirt in her lap, “It wasn’t about a challenge or a tease or something, but as you like to keep reminding me, I’m a sociopath, I don’t connect easily, and I have an even harder time staying connected with people, but it was easy with you” she shrugs, “I didn’t have to try nearly as hard , I was glad to be able to talk to someone without the extra effort of pretending” she says, “It was just easy.”

Spencer looks at her for a moment, he knew she was waiting for him to take something off. Spencer unbuttons his trousers, looking back at her, “You couldn’t have felt anything” he says.

“I didn’t say I felt things, I mean I felt lots of things when we were together, but mostly physical, I would have never expected you to be that good in bed, from what I knew about you, I mean you never even slept with her” she says.

“Watch it Cat” he warns.

“Okay” she says getting back on topic, “all I’m saying is that being with you was effortless, and that was a nice change of pace, after being a criminal mastermind all day, to come home to you and be able to effortlessly talk, and do whatever we were doing, ordering take out, watching a movie, having sex, it was all effortless, and it put my mind at ease after a long day” she says looking back at Spencer, “Okay I know I earned that one, because I can tell it hurt your feelings.”

Spencer looks back at her for a moment before he slides off the table, letting his pants drop to the floor before he sits back on the table, “that did hurt my feelings” he says, “knowing that you were with me because it was easy for you, because I actually fell for you like a damn fool.”

“I know” she says, “I didn’t want to hurt you, I liked you a lot, but there was still the goal of the mission, and before you ask, the goal was to take you and your team out before you guys took us out.”

“You were going to kill me” he says.

Cat nods, “The goal was to kill your whole team” she says.

“You do realize that our replacement team would have just come after you right?” he asks.

Cat looks back at Spencer, “That’s offensive considering how many people I’ve killed, without a trace.”

“Obviously, you didn’t do a great job because we did find you” he says.

“Spencer, I slept in your bed for almost a year, I had sex with you for almost a year, and you had no idea who I was” she says, “You found what I wanted you to find.”

“It was a setup” he says.

“Yes, it was a setup,” she says, “You and your team weren’t leaving that restaurant that night, I had the entire block wired with bombs, we were going to take out a four block radius that night” she says looking up at Spencer.

Spencer feels sick again, she knew who he was, and she was willing to kill him after everything that they had been through, everything they did together, he doesn’t know what to do or what to say, she was just going to kill him, let him die.

Spencer snatches his phone from the table, walking over to the sofa.

“Spencer that’s cheating!” she cries, “I really earned it that time” she grins, tugging on the handcuffs with no luck.

“She’s back, Cat Adams is back.”

Spencer redresses, and within five minutes there’s a knock on his door, and the FBI comes in, guns drawn, swarming the table, where she was sitting.

JJ holsters her weapon walking over to Spencer, “Are you okay?” she asks, Spencer nods, “I’m fine.”

“Spencey” Cat says, while having her hands tied behind her back, “I’m not done yet” she smiles.

“Whatever it is, I don’t want to hear anymore Cat” he says, “I want you gone, forever.”

Cat smiles, “I was going to kill you, but I also would have missed you” she says, “I missed you when I was gone so I came back, but if we died together in that explosion, I would have never had to miss you, we would have been together forever.”

Spencer can’t mask the look of disgust as she speaks, “I never want to see you again Catherine.”

“Together forever Spencer!” she calls out, as she’s hauled down the stairs by the arresting officers.

 

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Call me for a good time](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11965587) by [Crayonlighting](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crayonlighting/pseuds/Crayonlighting)




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